I got back from hell. It was really hard. I fear I will die before being eaten, so now I go on a pilgrimage to be eaten by dragon.

I went back to the dragon. Augaurauth smiled. His scales were like tenfold shields, his teeth were swords, his claws spears, the shock of his tail a thunderbolt, his wings a hurricane. Penbrok, I somehow think that you are stealing this quote from some famous book. Stop it! Back to the dragon, his breath death! I never shook so much, and then I was a popsicle. Everything became dark and I felt… complete! I was such a good sacrifice. It was the happiest day in my life. I hope I did taste good, though.

Then I woke up. Somehow I returned. I heard that this also happened to this Palpatine fella. So perhaps, I got lucky? There was a problem, though. I did complete my guest. I was devoured. So, what could I do now? Without many options, I asked this nice Grandma to teleport me back to the Hekaton family drama and my good friend Wardwell. Let me be clear here; all of them are my friends; it is just that Wardwell is bossy and my poor simple mind knows nothing but to follow orders. It looks like the mighty wizard liked that, although the others were quite concerned about me following him blindly. They said something about me being naive and that I should not trust someone so selfish or self-centered. I did look up these words in a kobold dictionary. Selfish means dragon and self-centred also means dragon. Dragon is great, all good!

Now that I am NOT DEAD, please glue this to the end of first will.

ME. I am not sure if I die again. Please don’t do anything. There is some lawyer term here right? NDA? When I dead, I want to rest close to the five-headed mother. The all-mighty chromatic calamity. Perhaps she will eat me too?

GARFUNKLE. [this part of the will has been redacted]. The betrayer shall receive nothing!

TONK. He still quiet. Give him this nice shield. I stole from dragon.

VOQYS. He does something, like he says this is not how he saw things. Then, whatever he saw is what it is. My poor brain cannot explain. What do you mean that is not how to write a will, Penbrok? The will is mine. Write this down! Okay, give him big telescope so he can see things other way even farther.

YVONNE. She really likes this other adventurer Zehira. Give her a (cof cof) wingmen. Buy a box of chocolates and nice flowers from the gold I stole from dragon.

WARDWELL. The mighty Wardwell, he who turns into a dragon. Give him all the magic items and gold that I have. Give him a pinata too, although I don’t know what that is.

PENBROK. I forgot you. Next will you come first. Wardwell got everything. Sorry. (pause) Okay. You get… nice water that I got from river. Use it in case you need to forget something bad. Although, be careful to not forget the friends you made along the way.

The fact that there were now two wills and one of them with a dead name, would cause great confusion in the multiverse. Modromes got the two wills and brought them to Mechanus. Word tells that it would take centuries for the Modrons to figure out the amount of incongruence and clauses that the little kobold decided to add once he got his draft fully and carefully written will back from Penbrok. Only if Penbrok knew that…